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New Years are often celebrated with much joy, and not a little apprehension, as one prepares to meet the challenges and opportunities that a new calendar year may bring. As the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve, much kissing erupts as a natural expression of joy and celebration, even between strangers!
When the apostle Paul exhorts the saints to greet one another with a ‘holy kiss’ (Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; 2 Corinthians 13:12; 1 Thessalonians 5:26) it is not a reference merely to the accustomed form of greeting in the first century, but is imbued with the sense of holiness that comes from being in relationship with the Lord Jesus and in relationship with his saints. In three of these Pauline exhortations the peace of God is underscored in the context, which is a peace whose essence is eternal. Similarly, Peter’s exhortation to greet one another with a ‘kiss of love’ is cast in the context of the peace that is enjoyed by all those who are in Christ (1 Peter 5:14).
Of course, greeting everyone who comes to church with a ‘holy kiss’ is not the usual pattern of our assemblies, at least not in Sydney! So how are we to apply the apostles’ mandate? The usual response is to greet one another with a ‘holy handshake’, which is the acceptable cultural norm for many from Western backgrounds. In other cultural contexts, especially South America, it is a ‘holy hug’ that is the acceptable form of greeting. In Europe it is a kiss on both cheeks, and for family members three alternating cheek kisses are common. One dare not draw one’s face away from an over enthusiastic aunt! While even non-Christians adopt these cultural expressions of affection, for Christians our greetings should be characterised by holiness.
References to kissing in the Bible are more frequent than one might imagine. There are different types of kissing. The kiss of intimacy between lovers is referred to in Song of Songs 1:2. However, more frequent references are to the kiss of intimacy between family members of friends: between a father and a son, a daughter and her mother-in-law, a grandfather and his grandchildren, two brothers, or two cousins; or between David and Jonathan or Paul and the Ephesian elders. All these are genuine expressions of affection and love, without any sense of the erotic (apart from Song of Songs).
On the other hand there are also kisses of manipulation. Here the outward sign of kissing is in fact a deception, such as the kiss of a prostitute (Proverbs 7:13). However, Judas’ kiss of betrayal in Gethsemane is the exemplar of such deceitfulness (compare Proverbs 27:6). Absalom’s kisses given to his supplicants and Joab’s kiss of Amasa are other examples of the misuse of a kiss to gain advantage and deceive—to turn good into evil.
The other kind of kiss to which the Bible refers is the kiss of homage. Samuel’s kiss of Saul upon anointing him king is one such example, and pagan examples are seen when men kiss the calf-idols or images of Baal. However, the pre-eminent act of homage with a kiss is revealed in the second psalm.
Serve the Lord with fear and rejoice with trembling.
Kiss the Son lest he be angry…
Blessed are all those who take refuge in him.
(Psalm 2:11-12)
The kisses bestowed upon Jesus by the woman who anointed his feet are expressions of such homage.
The true disciple of Jesus is the one who has ‘kissed the Son’, offered their lives in total surrender to the Lord Jesus, in whom alone is found our refuge and our salvation. Once we have kissed the Son, we are able to offer a ‘holy kiss’ to other Christians, members of Jesus’ family. This is not just the kiss of friendship or familiarity, it is the greeting that comes from a shared holiness, a shared inheritance, a shared love that is grounded in our being ‘in Christ’. We dare not treat each other, therefore with disdain, let alone deception. Our attitude towards each other in Christ’s family ought to be characterized by the holiness of Jesus and his servanthood (Philippians 2:5). Paul reminds his readers, to ‘let love be genuine’ (Romans 12:9); while Peter encourages us to ‘love one another deeply’ (1 Peter 4:8). When we follow the apostles’ exhortations, we shall be fulfilling the essence of greeting one another with a holy kiss. Such love will only enhance our witness to the world.
‘By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.’ (John 13:35)
Bishop Glenn Davies
Diocese of the Southern Cross
